Best Of The Web

TimAndrews1Tim Andrews brings back his roundup of the weird and wacky news from around the world in Best Of The Web: 

Amazon promises book delivering drones, telemarketers are no long from india, they're now robots – denying they're robots!  But the US Government still uses floppy disks… 

World's top chef's reveal the most overrated and underrated meats

The rich and proud history of 'lowbrow conservatism

 A 10 year old boy suspended from school for violating the "zero tolerance" policy by shooting an imaginary arrow

Another study finds no link between secondhand smoke and cancer

Spies are now "searching for terrorists" by playing online video games

Bohemium Rhapsody: Star Wars Edition

Sign language interpreter at Mandela Funeral a fake – just randomly waving his arms

A german town abolishes traffic lights and almost all traffic rules. Accidents plummet

Join the campaign to scrap the failed alcopops tax!

And finally, 24 types of authoritarians (click to enlarge):


Tim Andrews is the Executive Director of the Australian Taxpayers' Alliance and Publisher of Menzies House. 


Best Of The Web Returns!

TimAndrews1In the return of one of our most popular columns, Tim Andrews brings back his roundup of the weird and wacky news from around the world in Best Of The Web: 

A new "reverse microwave" can chill drinks in under 45 seconds! 

Want to prepare for the Zombie Apololypse in style? Then this is the house for you

How Famous 20th Century Headlines would read if they were published today

Leftists at the University of Georgia protest excellence and success. Really. 

You can now buy shares in professional atheletes

Humour: You've all seen clips of TED talks, here's a DED talk – a motivational speech for zombies

A disabled girl in the United Kingdom wants to work – but the government tells her to stay on welfare

Football coach in the US accused of "bullying" because his team is so successful

Heston would be proud: Want to poach some salmon? Or pears? Or make some Bulgoki? Then try using your dishwasher (just don't try shellfish, rice, or eggs!)

And finally, here 218 reasons why even the left should not support President Obama

Best Of The Web


Wondered what you've missed in the last week? Worried that great stories slipped you by? Well fear not, for Menzies House is here with our most popular regular column, Best Of The Web!

The greatest political email exchange of all time: NZ"Libertarianz Party" in discussion with the NZ Jedi Council

Bryant Gumbel and Katie Couric discuss the Internet on the Today Show in 1994

How to make 97% of 'climate scientists' agree – cook the books! 

The Economist maps worldwide alcohol consumption. Meanwhile, a U.S. supermarket introduces a 'soda fountain for wine'. And if you're not a wine drinker, the world's strongest beer – 41% – has just gone on sale!  Also, a recent study shows that smoking bans cause deaths by increasing drink driving

The lies of President Obama, auto-defrosting refrigerators, and the perils of government regulation (it's a much more interesting post than you may think!)

School Inspector Says: trees too dangerous

How to be a good spouse in the 1930's. I bet they didn't need the chastity garter for potentially unfaithful women

The Great Pacification: How the last decade was the most peacful in over a century

The British raise their terror level to "a bit cross" (meanwhile Australia is at the hightened state of  "Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!”

The most polite thief of all time.

Taxpayer funded morning-after pill fails to cut teenage pregnancies and trigger a rise in sexually transmitted diseases.

if you are a libertarian, here is what you should NOT say at outreach booths (if you are not one, you should watch still this, it's hillarious): 


Country Name Etymologies Mapped Worldwide: the meaning of the name of every country mapped here

Sir Ian McKellan describes filming the Balrog scene

The Full McBain Movie Hidden Across Multiple Simpsons Episodes

The high school with 112 spy cameras to track the movements of every student.  Also in the UK, a mother was ticketed by police, and banned from working with children for 10 years, for letting her 14 year old son watch his brother for half an hour. 

A citizen in North Carolina presented the city a proposal to install traffic lights near his home. One city official responded by calling for the citizen to be investigated for what basically amounts to doing math without a license (h/t The Agitator)

Tim Andrews is  the acting Editor-in-Chief of Menzies House. His personal blog is Musings of an Australian Classical Liberal in Washington DC. 

Best Of The Web


Faced with a deluge of death threats, vitriol, and abuse from the "civil, polite, thoughtful left," following his efforts with Stop The Levy, Menzies House Editor Tim Andrews decided it was time to lighten things up, and post the next installment of the weird, the wonderful, and the wacky from around the world. So here it is, the latest installment of Best of the Web! 

A marijuana firing catapult discovered on the U.S.-Mexico border. On a related note, here's the conservative former President of Mexico calling for an end to the drug war. Because apparently smoking pot actually helps prevent lung-cancer (although I suppose the researchers were just high). In anycase, law authorities have more important things to worry about, like the menace of Dungeons and Dragons.

An 82-year old Oregon barber with more than half a century of experience cutting hair is accused by government authorities in Oregon of "criminal barbering", because his government license to cut hair inadvertently expired.

Important health news: Adults who make love first thing in the morning apparently not only feel more upbeat for the rest of the day, but also benefit from a stronger immune system. Research suggests that adults who begin their day this way are healthier and happier than those who simply opt for a cup of tea and some toast before heading out of the door. (via InstaPundit)

Here's an example of free market Haiku (and who said we on the right wern't artsy!):

Markets chomp at bit 
To end global poverty 
But statists say no.

Government waste: U.S. style:


Smoking bans ruin lives and make everyone unhappy. No-one more so, I assume, than this monk in Bhutan that faces five years in gaol for being caught with some tobacco. But good news in the freedom front! In Spain, the revolution against the nanny state is triumphing

Forget your everyday backpack or bag, here's one designed to contain a drink-mixing kit!

Leftists praise Genghis Kahn: mass murder is good for the environment 

Here's an amusing clip of a kickboxing bouncers taking down a troublemaker. Trust me, it's worth a watch:


A tactic freedom fighters in Australia ought try – fighting government overspending – with beer coasters

A cost-benefit analysis of the TSA's nudie scanners. British airports, on the other hand, have decided to introduce holograms as customs agents

How to foil a nation-wide internet shutdown: dial-up! By the way, U.S. Democrats want the internet to come with a kill-switch too. =

Microsoft employees in 1978: where are they now

IKEA has been shown to deliberately trap its customers in a maze

The Chinese Government passes off Top Gun footage as a military drill. Yes, really. (Not that we should be surprised, given their track record…)

U.S Congressman Dennis Kucinich (darling of the left) is suing the senate cafe for damages of $150,000, because… wait for it… a sandwhich he bought had an "unpitted olive".

I am sure that anyone with either a long memory of a geeky interest in computer games will find this great: Wolfenstein 1-D. It's surprisingly addictive! Treasure your gaming freedom while it lasts though, Democrats want to put warnings on computer games. And in more nanny-state news, apparently jogging while listening to music is the next thing they want to be illegal, as is cycling with children. Sigh, just go read this good piece on the nanny state and the death of personal responsibility: Helmet Required

We have long resisted posting "kitteh" clips here. But this one I could just not resist posting. Why? Because it appears that this cat is possessed by demons:


What happened to the anti-war movement now that Obama is in power? Oh right, they're hypocrites.  

A thought-provoking reflection by some "best and the brightest" Yale students who attended a Jerry Springer show

Vest Pocket Guide to Brothels in 19th-Century New York for Gentlemen on the Go.

Not my cup of tea, but everyone promotes liberty in their own way, so, it's good to read that The Thiel Foundation just pledged $1 million to support The Seasteading Institute

Why can't people walk straight

Redditch Borough Council, with a "commitment to reducing carbon dioxide emissions" is considering proposals to re-use energy at its crematorium to heat a nearby leisure centre (h/t Andrew Bolt)

The corruption of psychiatry 

A woman was paralysed by a hickey

Ever wondered what the numbers on your credit card mean? Probably not, why would you if you were a normal person. But, just in case you wanted to know, here's how you can crack the credit-card code

Scottish activists attempt to overturn the U.S. ban on haggis

A map of London's most common surnames.

"The two roads to courage." A suitcase that holds nothing but a bottle of bourbon and a set of brass knuckles:

"The two roads to courage." A suitcase that holds nothing but a bottle of bourbon and a set of brass knuckles.


How American farmers avoided data charges in the telegraph days

Children as young as four are to be taught about homosexuality in maths, geography and science lessons as part of a Government-backed drive to "celebrate the gay community".

Ukranian croc swollows a phone. No-one believed the story before it started ringing. Inside him. 

Scotland bans extreme pornography, except they won't define what it is, apparently so that people won't change their behaviour and follow the law. Odd, to say the least. 

I suspect the Objectivists amongst us would get a lot more support if they changed the front cover to this:

Quote of the week:  "The 2009 Nobel Peace Prize Winner hosted a dinner for the guy holding the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize Winner in prison…"

Finally, because in this Brave New World of big-government, we all need a ray of sunshine (and apparently the ocelots from last week weren't enough), here's a baby anteater taking a ride on it's mother's back. It is, without doubt, the cutest thing you will see all week. 

Tim Andrews is  the acting Editor-in-Chief of Menzies House. His personal blog is Musings of an Australian Classical Liberal in Washington DC. 

Best Of The Web


Vodka: Check. Red Bull: Check. Free market high speed internet connection (one that actually connects me to the net, and isn't Stephen Conroy's white elephant): Check. Okay, ladies & gentlemen, now that Tyrant Tim is running the show, there is no need disclaimers or qualifiers or apologies in the intro. No longer do I have to worry about Chris giving me a "nice" byline. You are now subject to BOTW: Unleashed. So, in the absence of Chris (the only check on my insanity), here is the real, uncensored, uncut, BEST OF THE WEB! 

It seems so short since our last BOTW, but so much has occurred… The Euro carbon trading market is suspended due to even more fraud (shock! horror!). Environmentalists stop solid medical training and standards of care plummet (ditto). But the news is not all bad: a Christian astronomer wins a court case after being persecuted and denied a job by the University of Kentucky for his faith.

Ok, so, before I commence listing all that I have in store for you, I ought note that, while I hesitate generally to promote posts by people I know (for the simple reason that I don't wish to seem to much like one of those w**kers who write "OMG! Look at me! I'm awesome because I have these amazing friends"), in this case, if I may apologetically seek your indulgence, I do make an exception and recommend this blog. The author is not, ideologically, on side with us on most issues, but she is a brilliant writer, and, even if you do not agree with her (and I, for one, often do not), her writing is thought provoking and well worth a read. Particularly on immigration, where, as conservative on this issue as I am, she is usually correct. So, check it out, and please don't be mean in comments, else I will hunt you down with a baseball bat when I'm back visiting Australia in May. 

But. To business:

A well-deserved monument to Paul the Psychic Octopus was unveiled at the Sea Life Centre in Oberhausen, Germany.

"I was adopted – but she was my real mum!"

There is no end to the insatiable reach of The Taxman

In the UK, you can't ride a segway on the road. Or on the sidewalk. Or… well… anywhere. Yay government! 

The most emailed New York Times article ever. (Great satire that probably applies even more to the Fairfax press than it does to the NYT!) 

Facebook's third biggest advertiser is a scam

Not new, or news, but watch this. It's g&s. It's good for you. 


The perils of treating psychological distress after disasters in light of the devastation from the Australian floods.

How Australians are viewed in DC. Seems pretty accurate to me…

20 best names from a New York Mafia bust. Personally, if I had a hitman coming after me, I would want him to be "Junior Lollipops". 

The tale of a left wing publisher who loved unions, and promoted them in his publications. Until his staff joined a union. Things really changed then!  Ahh, the hilarity of reality!

New Yorker cartoons are rather obscure in their humour. This blog gives them accurate captions re what is occurring. The result is worth checking out

Scientific American asks whether makeup is a hack for our evolved perception of skin colour and blushing (h/t Mindhacks)

Man, JFK's Harvard application was this? 

It's illegal to feed the homeless without a permit

How a dog humiliated the Nazis, which is somewhat less weird than how one man actually lived with wolves.

Sexy Star Wars pin-up posters! Of course, not as good as the burlesque from last year, but still worth a click through…. 

Revenge, tennis star style:


Late last year, a man decided to make a YouTube clip begging a rich person to give him a million dollars. For no reason. Pretty funny, yes? Except that, last week, he was actually given a million dollars as a result. Yeah. So. Um. Please give MH money? Please? I mean it! Please! 

Phone manual includes instructions for faking a call

Still, as light hearted as that may be, not all is fun and merry. Here's a genuinely troubling story  (that deserves more attention that it has received) about a young woman's experience with a locksmith. And this one is of Justice for Sal; I won't even begin to comment on the injustice.  Just read it. Sigh. And I have a lot more similar stories, I just cant not bear myself to post them…

So, to break me from my funk, here's Reagan to the Rescue: a photoblog dedicated to the fact that Ronald Reagan — and only Ronald Reagan – can solve any/all of our problems

Finally, I can only begin to imagine that our dearly beloved regular readers would have reached this point of the post in incredulity of the fact that there has been no mention of communist nico-nazi smoking regulations. And we can't have that! So, just so as I can continue playing my part in this great play, let me in form you that a French court ruled that it's ok to show photos of old-timey heros smoking in posters… still, such is the sad world we live in where something as common sense as this is now heralded as victory for freedom (and people wonder why preparing BOTW drives me to drink…).

And, speaking of drink, you can now get Scotch in a can! The end! 

(Note: Due to a rare bout of sanity on my part, the John Walters quote on reading that proved so controversial as to warrant the opening disclaimers has been, reluctantly, removed. Sorry. Ping me if you wish the actual uncut BOTW…)

Tim Andrews is a Washington DC based political consultant, and the acting Editor-in-Chief of Menzies House. His personal blog is Musings of an Australian Classical Liberal in Washington DC. He hopes that this post is a reminder to you all as to why you should respect and appreciate Chris Browne, the regular MH Editor in Chief, and reminds you that you can contribute to Chris for all his hard work, and for all the hours he puts up with Tim's insanity here. Donate here. Seriously. Chris deserves it. 


The First Best Of The Web of 2011!


While Menzies House was all quiet for our extended Christmas Break, it is well known that there is no rest for the wicked. And, such, apparently, is the wickedness of Editor Tim Andrews, that he spent the entire break, not resting, but rather tracking down the very best the internet had to offer for our readers. His penance, perhaps. And so, freshly filled with the Spirit of Australiana, having just returned from a Queensland Flood Fundraiser at The Australian bar in New York, he now presents, the next – and most contact-packed to date- installment of Best Of The Web! 

How else to bring in the New Year other than with the weird and wonderful wackiness the world has to show. In the last few weeks, artists have redesigned Darth Vader with only George Lucas' original script as a guide, we learn of the sport of ear-pulling, and here is, without doubt, the best photo you'll see all day. We have seen stories of fish competing with college students in maths test: no surprise, the fish win, and here is the tale of I, Toaster: one man's quest to build a toaster from scratch, and the lesson we can all learn from it. 

Best of all, perhaps, here is Cthulhu: the neck-tie edition (although coming a close second in greatness - The Beer Gauge: a devise to make sure you're never under-poured a beer ever again) 

 Science, of course, continues to bring us all sorts of fascinating discoveries. Best of all though is the fact that proving once more my theory that alcohol makes everything better, drunk scientists pour wine on superconductors and make an incredible discovery. But, we have also learned things like the fact you can now get tour morning toothpaste with weather reports! And, as if that wasn't enough, the woolly mammoth, extinct for thousands of years, could be brought back to life in as little as four years! But, when it come to science meets cute, how do you weigh wild penguins? And how about these adorable (and not endangered) polar bears playing with spy video cams! Still, I suppose we can be glad the USSR didn't succeed in their aim to create "invincible human-ape cross-breed". Finally though,

While we're on science, the environmentalist myth of the "Great Pacific Garbage Patch" gas been debunked, which is good to know. Still, when it comes to matters environment, pogo sticks! Pogo sticks are the answer!  Slightly less pleased to learn that ATMs are as dirty as public toilets

Here's a ligher take on the problems with technology, and what happens when your Blackberry doesn't work:


When it comes to politics, here's a 1915 pamphlet on why women should not be 'burdened' with the vote, and the fact that under communist rule in Romania the temperature never officially dropped below 10 degrees Celsius, even when there was ice and snow on the ground, because the law said that heating in public buildings had to be turned on when it did.

The three classes of business:

The Three Classes of American Business


Further developments in the eternal quest by freedom hating nanny state paternalist scumbags to make our lives all miserable: Democrats in NJ want to mandate that bicycles have license plates,three enterprising New Jersey women and now martyrs for freedom were arrested for attempting to sell caffeinated alcoholic beverage Four Loko, Democrats in Iowa want to ban all caffeinated mixed drinks (including Kaluha and milk, rum and coke etc), and prohibitions on junk-food for children have created a thriving black market. Not to mention Kinder Surprises continue to be seized at the U.S. Border (kids might choke on them, you see…), communists in Victoria want junk food to have graphic warning labels (like the chronically misleading ones on cigarette backages), And, in the future, we can all look forward to 'booze immobilisers' on cars. Still, could be worse. In Bhutan, police are raiding homes in search of now-illegal tobacco. But, as an inspirational story for you all, the successful 17th century revolt against attempt to outlaw smoking, and, in further good news, the draconian POS behind the UK's smoking bans is now in prison, and even more evidence comes out to say that 'nudging' just does not work.

Speaking of smoking, a circus in canada is allowed to have fire-eating. Walking up barefoot ladder of swords and swallowing a revolving electric drill? no problem. Drwaves dragging a genitally attached vacuum cleaner round the stage? Apparently fine. But a performer performer smoking a cigarette as part of an act? Not allowed, due to government health and safety regulations. In a similar vein, here's a piece on how smokers are treated as pariahs, how some places will not hire even ex-smokers, and disturbingly, preparations by anti-smoking obsessives (whose activities almost warrant psychiatric classification) move to ban smoking in peoples houses. Oh, also, yet more evidence on how the deranged anti-smoking movement blatantly lies and commits fraud with their data.

Finally, let's not forget how smoking has been written out of Mark Twain (as well, of course, as how Huckelberry Finn has now been re-written to remove the "N-word". Oh. But back to circuses and clowns again though. In the UK, banned activities include blowing bubbles (in case someone slips), wearing giant shoes (in case the clown slips), and twisting balloons into animal shapes (in case children have latex allergies).. .read the whole piece

Last part of nanny-state news though (promise!) The Daily Show has a great piece exposing the stupidity of the San Fransisco happy-meal ban:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
San Francisco's Happy Meal Ban
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog</a> The Daily Show on Facebook

Fortunately, other countries don't have nanny state paternalism and can do things like this: Homemade bungee jumping in Russia. Although, remember the TSA Nudie-scanners I ranted about earlier? Well, even more scientists have come out to say they are unsafe

Yet another great column from the eternally-brilliant Leonare Skenazy on the perils of 'think the worst' about men around children, and, on the same subject, a beloved teacher is dismissed for not completing a formal risk evaluation before allowing some kids to toboggan, here's a truly depressing piece on the downward spiral on childhood self reliance, and in Sydney, security prevent father from lifting his son onto his shoulders as "someone could come running through the crowd and it would knock me and him to the ground"

Still, we can all be cheered by the news that Sir Richard Branson will serve as an air stewardess after losing a bet

As this post grows long, I shall not bother you with further commentary, and simply point out to you the following pieces:

What would a timeline of the world’s greatest fears look like? Like this.

Britain's fattest man sues the National Health Service for "letting him grow"

A vulture is arrested for being an Israeli spy

If you want to get fired from Dominos, well, this seems to be the way to do it 

The most touching story I have read in a long time: Southwest pilot holds plane for murder victim's family. Read, and I challenge even the crustiest of you not to be moved. 

Couple creates a World of Warcraft themed bathroom

And a Florida trailer park resident sues WikiLeaks for scaring him, which is pretty funny. What is less funny, however, is how WikiLeaks seriously set back the cause of democracy and freedom in Zimbabwe

Things babies born in 2011 will never know 

Unlikely names of actual court cases (my favourite? Easter Seal Society for Crippled Children v. Playboy Enterprises) and quite possibly the best court judgment ever

Eco-nom-nom-nomics: teaching economics through the meme of "nom"

The Taiwanese animators give an account of two teachers in Brooklyn who were fired after allegedly "doing sex to each other" in an empty classroom (NSFW). Which is no-where near as odd as this story from the UK: Girl 'beds' woman for 8 years by acting as a man.

How to solve a Rubik's cube

China bans Bayensian statistic textbook

Drill close to reaching 14 million year old Antarctic lake

1940's consent form to engage in sexual intercourse

Photos of beautiful rooms decorated with shelf after shelf of books.

 A Guide To Presidential Facial Hair

The mathematics of beauty (aka "Heteroscedasticity is Hot")

The father of the 9-yr old murdered on Saturday in Arizona talks of her, and how he doesn't want anything to happen to our liberties as a result of this tragedy.

The unreliability of drug-sniffer dogs.

A flute made on a 3D printer

Bring joy to subeditors and headline editors worldwide, fox outfoxes hunter…  by shooting him. Still, not quite as funny as the Italian man shot in the head who sneezed out bullet. But even that is topped by the story of a toddler who shot his own dad… 

What can today's prohibitionists learn from their predecessors

How a solitary jailhouse lawyer argued his way out of prison – truly a both touching, yet saddening, story. In a lighter legal vein, here are the difference between U.S. and UK Law & Order:


A good discussion on the involuntary commitment of suffers from mental illness, and here's one on how we are too quick to link mental illness and violence. Also, for those interested, here's a very good piece on the current battle over the DSM-5

The most awesome bandits in history

Uncollected trash broke man's fall during suicide attempt

 Better Book Titles of the Week (see the Runner Up Here)


Wikipedia’s list of common misconceptions

 Sega has began deploying the “Toylet” video game — which uses “a pressure sensor located on the back of a urinal to measure the strength and location of your urine stream

Stagehands who move musicians seats in New York city earn on average $290,000 a year each. To move chairs

Man reports reported deer stuck in the ice. Fire department comes, and beings to discuss whether to rescue the deer. While they are taking, two passersby rescue the dear. Passers by fined $90. 

Spanish woman fakes kidnapping to test husband 

And finally, to end this installment on a note of even greater awesome, Josh Groban Sings Kanye West Tweets:


Tim Andrews is a Washington DC based political consultant, and the acting Editor-in-Chief of Menzies House. He has formally served as President of the Australian Liberal Students' Federation, as a Fellow atAmericans for Tax Reform, and as a participant in the Koch Associate Program. His personal blog is Musings of an Australian Classical Liberal in Washington DC.

The Very Best of Best Of The Web

148363_10150327951310018_659930017_15583650_6263359_nIt's no secret that Best Of The Web is our most popular regular series*. A recent survey has found that 93% of readers listed it as their sole reason for staying alive**. Our compiler,  Tim Andrews, is flooded with admirers and women constantly throwing themselves at him just for publishing it***

But it's time to up the ante. It's time to get serious. And by serious, we mean seriously meta. Because being meta is the thing to do. As such, this week, we are not content with just providing you a Best of The Web. Rather, we are outdoing ourselves and providing … wait for it … a BEST OF BEST OF THE WEB. That's right, we're taking BOTW to a whole new level by providing you the best stories of the year. And that's some seriously meta s##t, dude (to use the technical jargon of the postmodern literary movement).

So even while Menzies House is taking a holiday from formal posts, Tim Andrews refuses to rest. He refuses to put down his vodka red bulls, and instead, continues to dedicate himself to you. Our readers. Why? Because that's the kind of man he is****. 

And so, with no further ado,we present to you a review of 2010 as seen through the eyes of Tim Andrews – WE PRESENT THE VERY BEST OF THE BEST OF 2010:

Politics, Economics & The Law

Best Campaign Ad of 2008: Dale Peterson (obviously). Runner Up: Pamela Gorman. Honourable Mention: Demon Sheep

Best Analysis of U.S. Mid-term Elections: Last Remaining Politician Must Rebuild Entire Government Following Bloodiest Midterm Election in Recent History

Best Libertarian self-parody: Libertarian Cheat Sheet. Runner Up: 24 Types of Libertarian

Best Use of Government Resources: 7 year old has lemonade stand shut because she didn't have a temporary restaurant license.

Best Satirical Story: Candidate May Have Lied About His Heroic Death in Vietnam

Best Moments in Political Feminism: Czech female politicians create a "sexy calendar" Runner Up: A Romanian model started a new political party for beautiful people

Best Politico Twitter Scandal: UK Labor Candidate Tweets "You know I think I might be completely sober for the first time in 4 days" Runner Up: CA Gubernatorial Candidate Meg Whitman links to cross-dressing Asian pop dubbers.

Best Hot or Not: The US Congressional version!

Best Use of Race Card: The NAACP call greeting card about the universe, solar system and black holes "racist" Runner Up: Scottish Retailer HMV has removed banners reading "Anyone But England" for promoting racial hatred

Best Volunteer Ad: Help Teach Kids How The Government Works by Simply Taking All Their Sweets Off Them And Telling Them To F**k Off

Best Moment in Perverse Incentives: Chinese officials try to solve the problem of cigarette butts by offering residents money for each butt collected.

Best Legal Analysis: The Law of Dungeons and Dragons Runner Up: Is Batman a State actor when it comes to U.S. law? 

Health News

Best anti smoking-nazi Freedom Fighter: Nick Hogan Runner Up: The Dutch. All of them. Honourable Mention:Spainish Bar Owners 

Best news for caffeine addicts: Coffee is Good For Your Brain

Best news for smokers: you have nearly twice the chance of dying if you DON’T smoke. Runner Up:   Further health benefits of smoking. Honourable Mention: How smokos are beneficial to companies, 

Best Article Against Health Fetish: This one

Best news for alcoholics: Heavy drinkers outlive non-drinkers Runner Up: Drinkers earn more than teetotalers. First Honourable Mention: World's oldest twins say alcohol is the key. Second Honourable Mention: Top 5 Most Inspiring Thigns Ever Accomplished (while being drunk). Third Honourable Mention: Alcohol doesn't kill your brain cells after all. Forth Honorable Mention:  The smarter a woman is, the more likely she is to drink.

Best Scientific News for Newlyweds: Science proves you must have lots of sex to ensure a happy marriage

Best Development in Mental Health Industry: Proposal to classify happiness as mental disorder

Best lies by smoking nazi's: This list

Arts, Sport & Entertainment

Best film parody: Generic Movie Based On Every Movie Ever Made

Best New Beverage: Bourbon Milkshakes

Best New Vending Machine: Mojitos every 30 seconds

Best Nightclub Theme: Margaret Thatcher

Best Moment in Sport: This This College Gridiron trick play

Best Book Trivia: Size of Books Determined by Size of Sheep

Best Copyright Warning: "May he who steals this book suffer the pangs of death infernal!"

Best Chapter from Political Anthology: The Smokers' Code

Foreign Affairs

Best Spy: Anna ChapmanWho's now in Playboy

Best Border Ceremony Now Tragically Cancelled: India-Pakistan 


Best Headline Of The Year: Skywalkers in Korea Cross Han Solo. Related: Sandwich board of the year.

Best Blogger Alive: Alex Balk 

Best Now-Defunct Blog: Look at this f**king Hipster

Best News Channel: Fox News with the top 13 shows on cable news.


Best Underwear: Metallic type lets you send a message to the TSA

Best Liar: Harvard University Student Created Entire Fake Life History to Gain Admission

Best P**sed off Employee: This guy who writes printer cartridge ads

Best Alternative History:  Ron Paul in 2003 Runner Up: What is mass-murder Lenin died 5 years earlier

Best Suicide Prevention Moment: Caller So Angry At Person Suicide-Prevention Priest Falling Asleep He Doesn't Kill Himself to Complain

Best Facebook Graph: Relationship Breakdowns by Date

Best Horny Woman: This one

And finally, the Best Use Of Aminals: Para-sailing donkeys

(Tim Andrews is the Managing Editor of Menzies House. His personal blog is Musings of an Australian Classical Liberal in Washington DC)

 *Explanatory Note: BOTW is our only regular series

**Further Explanatory Note: Survey taken exclusively by voices in Tim Andrews's head

*** Tim wishes to stress that if a certain someone is reading this,  the aforementioned comment is a joke, begs that she not hurt him.  

**** A man with serious mental health issues. Seriously. He needs help. It's no laughing matter. 

A Christmas Best of The Web


'Twas the week before Christmas, yet at Menzies House
a creature was stirring;- no, not a mouse!
Tim Andrews was trawling the net with great care,
In hopes of fun stories that he would find there.

With readers all nestled and snug in their beds,
Your Editor was working and sniffing out reds.
And finding the world filled with communist c**p
Despite the late hour, heaven forbid that he nap!

And so with the frenzy of a mini Bob Katter
He sprang to attention, to point out the matter!
Away to his TypePad he flew in a flash
To do what he loves – giving commies a bash!

For as the night fills with the (climate change) snow
These really are posts that you ought to know
The best of the web, for our readers most dear
You will like each one, never you fear!

From an internet run by a very old chap
To Santa attacked for taking a nap!
McDonalds now sued for giving kids toys
While awards are being given for molly-coddling boys,

Scroll down for Nativity – Web 2.0!
Or see TSA blunders (like you didn’t know!)
Watch the drunk Serb and the man-eating shark
My my, this installment – my my, what a lark!

So completing this post, Tim Andrews must run
For the night is yet early, he must have more fun!
But I heard his exclaim, as he ran out of sight:
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”

So, to end attempts at rhyming verse, let us begin this installment of Christmas good cheer with a story of Santa Claus being banned from visiting school children due to immigrant children who don't celebrate Christmas. And, to make matters worse, wowser doctor groups are attacking Santa for being a bad role model. Freedom yay! 

Speaking of Christmas, a Swedish pastor executed an elf. To "save Christmas". Right. In slightly better news out of Sweden though, here's a speed-camera that pays drivers to slow down

Here are the 2010 Golden Helicopter awards for over-protective parenting and media fear-mongering about children. They missed this one though: a mother was cited for neglect for allowing her child to walk to school. And, speaking of children, the psychologically disturbed freedom hating communists with areally big chip on their shoulder at the Center for Science in the Public Interest have launched a class action lawsuit against McDonalds to prevent them from giving children toys

A Muslim Student Files Complaint Against Teacher … for Talking About Ham

A digital story of Christmas: 


In a slightly different vein, here's Walter Herzog reading The Night Before Christmas

If old people ran the internet

The real world origins of some of our favourite Star Wars sounds

The White House Office of Drug Control Policy is specifically exempted from scientific integrity policy. Also: smart people use more drugs, which would seem to be in keeping with U.S. freedom-fighting tradition, as per Ben Franklin's 200 synonyms for drunk. So, go get yourself a schooner of the cheapest beer in the world, and become like my newest hero: the drunk serb who killed a man-eating shark, and doesn't remember the incident.  Which is why I'm quitting my job to become a 'drinking buddy for hire' in The Ukraine. By the way, you know those smoking bans I keep railing about? Turns out they lead to fires and destruction. 

Ex-communist countries seek to criminalise denial of communist atrocities. While more evidence emerges of Chairman Mao's Great Leap to Famine

The TSA (you know, the ones behind naked photos and groping) still miss a loaded .40 caliber handgun in carry-on bag . And .40 caliber is a pretty big gun, you know! (Also: this photo really sums it up about the TSA, don't you think?):


Speaking of security theatre, they're now starting random bag searches at train stations where I live. Despite all the experts agreeing that they will make security worse

A very worthwhile column from The Economist on regulations and trade-offs, and how not every tragedy is preventable

Capitalism's gift of peace.

The law of Dungeons and Dragons

This is a real comic book:


So, even for someone like me who is a strong supporter of intellectual property rights, this seems kinda wrong: Nike sues someone who innocently purchased a pair of counterfeit sneakers

Harder to read fonts boost student learning

What hyperinflation in Zimbabwe does to menu prices

The literary award for Bad Sex

A swedish company has launched a "smaller-than-usual condom marketed to 13- to-15-year-olds"

I assume, being the well read, erudite person who reads Menzies House, you would have already read the latest installment of Journal of a Rudd Staffer. But if not, DO! 

A new blog of Kim Jong-Il looking at things

Were fertile women more likely to vote for Obama

How the left are the real elitists

And finally, although not as good as in previous years, here's JibJab's 2010 year in review:


UPDATE: A few viewers were having some problems with some of the graphics in this post; hopefully fixed now, but let us know if you continue having any problems. 

(Tim Andrews is the Managing Editor of Menzies House. His personal blog is Musings of an Australian Classical Liberal in Washington DC, and he really does wish you all a very, very, very Merry Christmas)

Best Of The Web

Tim-AndrewsNot for the faint of heart, from the deepest bowels of the internet, from the darkest depths of darkness, Tim Andrews brings you all this latest installment of Best Of The Web! And, what's more, for the first time ever, this one includes graphics! And a video! How lucky you are… 

But with the power of BOTW comes great responsibility. Specifically, the responsibility that if you copy and paste chunks of this on your blog/mailing list &c., do the honourable thing and give us an H/T. It's not that hard, you know, and since you are reading this site, we assume you believe in intellectual property, so stop ripping our hard work off! A simple credit and link, it's all we ask. Not that hard is it? And I mean, you don't want us naming and shaming do you? Not that we're bitter or anything… But yeah. Tim Andrews has KGB Blood in him, so, just saying…  Moving along though… 🙂

WARNING! ALERT! The UK Taxman wants all your money. As in, all your wages to be paid directly the the government. Which they will kindly give you part of back. Maybe. No Promises

Best volunteer ad of all time (via UK Libertarian) : 


Literary Smackdowns: Chaucer v. Shakespeare

Is Batman a State actor when it comes to U.S. law? 

Printer ink-cartridge copy-writer can't take his job anymore… Google cache here. Check it out. Seriously.

If you think our immigration system is bad, "gay men seeking asylum in the Czech Republic are forced to drop their pants and get hooked up to a penile plethysmograph to find out just how gay they are"

Chinese publishers accidently translate erotic fairy tales (no pun intended)

Science proves newlyweds must have lots of sex to ensure a happy marriage, as well as that that it's better for relationships when both parties drink heavily. I am tempted to start up a relationship counselling service! 

Five sci-fi children's books. Here's an example: 





Red light cameras working exactly as intended – making a lot of money for the State

All you need to know about The Bold and The Beautiful

Police spend all day investigating a "murder" that was actually a movie set 

The Science on Writers Block

Drop that pig and put your hands in the air! (Regulatory State gone wild)

Vladimir Putin does karaoke

How smokos are beneficial to companies, and, also, how the mentally-deranged and fun-destroying Demontors of the modern world, our Nico-Nazis are calling for a ban on Children watching films like Lord of The Rings and 101 Dalmatians as they are contain smoking. Anyway, here's a good look at the profiteering, money-grabbing, tax-gouching anti-smoking Lobby finances

Pension-age church volunteer flower-ladies taking a stand against big-brother background checks

The Chicago Cupcake Crackdown. Also, bake-sales are soon to become illegal. Yay for Nanny-state

Apparently "Husband Calling" is a sport in the U.S

A great Julian Assange sketch from Saturday Night Live (who knew? they can still be funny!). Still, who cares about Wikileaks, when #WookieLeaks is where it's all at?

Medieval England boasted an average income that would be more than double the average per capita income of the world's poorest nations today

South L.A. nanny state freedom hating local government bans stand-alone fast food restaurants, whereas in Suffolk County the freedom-haters outdo themselves by proposing to ban Red Bull for u/18's. 

Need money to fight nijas

Great Public Pension Reform Parody (h/t Cafe Hayek):


Animal control officers in Jacksonville, Florida, fined Christine Hill $225 for dying her poodle's paws pink (h/t Reason)

Your healthcare problems solved

Police find shrine to Justin Bieber in suspected drug lord's home

Finally, don't play economic games with your kids. They'll win. 🙂

(Tim Andrews is the Managing Editor of Menzies House. His personal blog is Musings of an Australian Classical Liberal in Washington DC.)

Best Of The Web

Tim-AndrewsDo you hear the people sing? Singing the song of angry men. It is the music of a people who are annoyed that Best Of The Web has not come out for two weeks! Tim Andrews makes right: 

Great data visualisation – the story of the world in 200 countries over 200 years using 120,000 numbers – in just four minutes.

New York bans smoking in Central Park

A high school in Texas has gotten rid of the books in the library and turned it into a coffee shop so "students can read e-books and access the Internet in the coffee shop" (h/t Reason)

Grammar police take down reckless driving law due to a missing preposition

Headline of the week: Skywalkers in Korea Cross Han Solo. And sandwich board of the year.

A U.S school bans lip balm without a doctors certificate, while another bans bringing pencils to school as they might be used as dangerous weapons. Whereas  in the UK, one school's Yearbook blacks out kids' eyes for fear of child porn potential, and music teachers are being warned not to physically touch students when correcting technique

In the U.S., thanks to high taxes and welfare largess, the head of a household of four making minimum wage has more disposable income than a family making $60,000.

New metallic type underwear lets you send a message to the TSA. Meanwhile, "In a troubling sign that investigators may be getting bored with their success smuggling guns and knives onto airplanes, the U.S. Department of Transportation today disclosed that its agents have recently cleared airport security checkpoints with an M1 tank, a beluga whale, and a fully active South American volcano."

In NZ, a tiny rural school that has not had any pupils for three months is still open nearly every day, overseen by a “very busy” principal.

Drinkers earn more than teetotalers, and you have nearly twice the chance of dying if you DON’T smoke. But even if you don't believe the numbers, here's a great article by Richard Klein arguing again health. Seriously worth a read.

Ithaca College students tried to build a replica of Thoreau's famous cabin. Until the local code enforcement officer found out about the project, and insisted the 150-square-foot cabin had to meet all code requirements, including having a sprinkler system.

New Jersey passed an "Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights" 

10 important things to know about cooking

British taxpayers pay for prostitutes for the disabled

And finally, if all this has gotten you thoroughly depressed and in need of a good cheer, just go to London's new Thatcher-themed nightclub!

(Tim Andrews is the Managing Editor of Menzies House. His personal blog is Musings of an Australian Classical Liberal in Washington DC.)