Back to this Future?

by on 24 October, 2015

October 21st 2015 – Wednesday this week – saw the coming of the fictional date that Marty McFly found himself flung into the future in the 1980s classic Back to the Future II.

For most part, ‘Back to the Future day’ was marked by social media fanfare and television featurettes recounting which of the films gaudy gimmicks have been realised by modern technology.

But besides musing about the lack of hoverboards, self tying shoes and flying rubbish bins in the 2015 of reality, it’s worth asking what Marty McFly would actually think if he was once again launched through the space-time continuum into the 2015 of today. What differences between the world of the mid 1980s and now would he catch his eye?

Here are a few thoughts

  • As a movie star himself, Marty would probably be fascinated by a number of developments in the entertainment industry. For instance, the world’s highest paid actress Jennifer Lawrence has launched a scathing rebuke of Hollywood’s grossly sexist gender pay gap, taking one for the team for the rest of Tinseltowns chronically underpaid female A-Listers. Lawrence cites her XX chromosones as the reason why she was only able to negotiate a meagre $52 million pay cheque for her work over the last calendar year.
  • Meanwhile, a reality TV star who no more than eight months ago regarded himself as male has been crowned woman of the year. Who knew that in the future gender could be both so fluid, yet so oppressive?
  • Turning to global politics, Marty might be struck by the fact that the United Nation’s Human Rights Council is headed up by Saudi Arabia, a country where it is illegal for women to drive and also known for executing homosexuals.
  • Incidentally (or perhaps not), this Human Rights Council has issued more condemnations of Israel – an oasis of democracy and civility amidst a region plagued by barbarism, sectarian violence and anarchy – than every other country combined. More than North Korea, Afghanistan, Zimbabwe and Syria.
  • The President of the United States has also signed a nuclear non-proliferation treaty with the world’s largest state sponsor of terrorism that doesn’t allow for any inspections of said terrorist sponsor’s deeply secretive military facilities
  • Despite trusting the future of the Middle East in the good-faith and compliance in this regime whose leaders have openly chanted ‘death to America’, this President is still regaled as an international celebrity everywhere from New Zealand to Timbukto
  • Central Europe now looks more like a refugee camp than it did in the years after World War II
  • Germany (one can only assume as penance for past atrocities) has decided to open it’s doors to more than a million of said refugees while the much closer gulf states of Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Bahrain and Kuwait take none. But as Marty would soon learn, cultural relativism tells us it’s wrong to pass judgement cultures that aren’t white.
  • The western world has given up on breeding. In fact, every European country has a negative birth rate.

What about if Marty McFly decided to take his DeLorean for a trans-pacific spin down to visit us quaint folk here in Australia?

  • Not having lived through the horrors of 9/11, Marty might find it strange that in the event of a terror attack Australia’s first impulse is to pre-emptively apologise to minorities (preferably with a hashtag) over a presumed backlash from rambling hoardes of white racist bogans
  • The government cares so much about our wellbeing that it cloaks cigarette packets with photos of decaying foetuses, rotting feet and a remarkably unphotogenic poor sod named ‘Brian’
  • The Australian government prohibits a sentient adult from using his/her phone to connect with another sentient adult to arrange a paid lift to a designated location. This threat to civil society is otherwise known as ‘ridesharing’
  • An Australian university student can be deemed to ‘live in poverty’ despite owning an IPhone 6, inhabiting a house with high speed internet and air conditioning while still having enough change left over to get comprehensively blind drunk at least twice a week
  • One of the country’s two major political parties wants to spend $100 billion building solar panels and wind farms to produce the same amount of electricity it’s already making now, just to prevent a (hypothetical) rise in the earth’s temperature of about 0.0000012 degrees.
  • This comes after the same party spent $2.8 billion on filling up the rooves with expensive fluff to stop Australians turning up their air conditioners so high in the summer.
  • If an Australian subjectively offends someone on the basis of race, they could find themselves hauled before a judge and formally reproached by a court of law
  • The government subsidizes breeding proportionally to how ill equipped an Australian is to raise their child. For instance, a single mother working as a nurse would receive very little recompense for bearing a child. But if she were to quit her job and become a heroin addict before procreating, the government would reward her handsomely.
  • Australians care deeply about the natural world. Just a few months ago a mine promising $16 billion of investment and 10 000 jobs was halted because the Minister in charge had failed to consider the impact of the project on a dainty reptilian vertebrate known colloquially as a ‘skink.’

3 thoughts on “Back to this Future?

  1. This is a very poor mishmash of obvious lies and tea party nonsense. Just for starters

    Just a few months ago a mine promising $16 billion of investment and 10 000 jobs was halted because the Minister in charge had failed to consider the impact of the project on a dainty reptilian vertebrate known colloquially as a ‘skink.’

    http://www.businessspectator.com.au/article/2015/8/31/policy-politics/fact-check-will-adanis-coal-mine-really-boost-employment-10000

    http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-opinion/adani-mine-a-20b-project-creating-10000-jobs-the-abbott-governments-myths-busted-20150819-gj2u2o.html

    Over the life of the Project it is projected that on average around 1,464 employee years of full time equivalent direct and indirect jobs will be created.

    He makes it clear that this refers to the number of extra full time jobs the project would bring to the economy both through its own operations and impacts on other industries. He says that the project’s operations would employ a little less than 2,000 people when fully operational. The net figure of 1,464 takes into account the reduction in employment the project would cause in other mining projects and industries that need similar skills like manufacturing and agriculture.

  2. What is your evidence for this bullshit?

    One of the country’s two major political parties wants to spend $100 billion building solar panels and wind farms to produce the same amount of electricity it’s already making now, just to prevent a (hypothetical) rise in the earth’s temperature of about 0.0000012 degrees.

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