Toby’s Sunday light

by on 21 July, 2013


It all began when Toby visited Sydney recently and decided to lunch in the Western Suburb of Auburn with a few old, Christian Brother’s School mates.

So it was to the recommended “Salim’s Bonza Mecca Burgers” they went. Being rather hungry Toby, unable to read the menu as it was in squiggly writing ordered a Mecca burger with Egg, pineapple and bacon with a large fries.

 “You can’t have bacon in here,” screamed Ali the burger turner, “besides, I can’t serve you until after the sun goes down,” 

“But that’s tea-time and now it’s lunch-time and I’m bloody starved,” retorted Toby.

“Don’t you know it’s Ramadan,” yells Ali, “you’re not allowed to eat until then, now get out and come back later.”

Feeling like infidels, although hungry infidels, Toby’s mates told him about the huge numbers of food items sold in Australian supermarkets and corner stores that exhibit Muslim Halal certification. Here is a story Toby thought. GC.Ed.@L.

Dear Editor:

The Association of Christian Churches plan to green-mail food suppliers by certifying that baked beans and porridge and so on, was “Dignum”. By doing so, an endless cash torrent would gush into the church money boxes without the Churches having to do more than hold a ceremony once a year blessing assembly lines.

Naturally, companies like Cadbury’s would print the ‘Dignum’ label on their product in the same eye-straining micro fonts they use for ‘Halal’.

["Dignum" is Latin for 'OK' in the same way as "kosher" and "halal" is Hebrew and Arabic for the same idea.]

However, trouble is brewing over the idea of halal water.

Already it is claimed that in hospitals in Victoria provide halal water whenever anyone at all requires a glass of water for swallowing a pill. Made halal, no doubt, by the Department of Health intoning توجيه الاتهام الى دافعي الضرائب (bill the taxpayer) while rowing across the reservoir.

Making water ‘halal’ is shaping up as business in England where a certain amount of re-cycling water goes on. Muslim leaders have graciously accepted that U.K. tap water is not 100% pure. In addition to residual pollutants, they say, “Local water authorities add various chemicals to reduce bacteria” but “cosmetic products which have been flushed down the drain, are not all removed by the water authorities’ treatments, and did you know that many cosmetics contain pig fat? You may be actually drinking and washing in that?”

So, trouble is brewing, but not from the West’s jelly-spined culturally aware tolerant merchants of appeasement.

No indeed. It has come from Muslims themselves, and in Aussie, where some mosques urge halal water to be drunk to honour traditions and standards.

“This is fanaticism,” says one Aussie Muslim, “because the very principle of Islamic law (permissible before impermissible) has been turned on its head. The reversal of this axiom in Islamic law by modern halalisers [his word] is absolutely astonishing. Everything in the world, if these zealots are to be believed, is now haram (forbidden) until proved halal!”

In other words, Islamic default position is that everything is good unless actually prohibited. Not that everything is forbidden unless explicitly allowed.

Another protester cites Islamic religious writing, “I heard that the people asked the Prophet of Allah (peace_be_upon_him): Water is brought for you from the well of Buda’ah. It is a well in which dead dogs, menstrual clothes and excrement of people are thrown. The Messenger of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) replied: Verily water is pure and is not defiled by anything.” [Abu Dawud Book 1, Number 67]

How long before a company has the cojones to say to buyers, “Yes, our meat pies are halal, if you don’t believe me don’t buy them. But we are not going to pay a licence every year to somebody for a worthless certificate.”

Companies might. Governments dancing in multi-culturalism moonshine won’t.

Watch out for halal water, and remember that water is the stuff that everybody washes in. Are we going to get Burrinjuck certified halal?

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