Toby’s Sunday light

by on 30 June, 2013


Disguising himself as an idiot, and thus mixing easily with the staff of three hitherto reputable Christian organisations, Toby, was taken aback at what he saw and heard.

From the US, he reports personally: GC.Ed.@L.

“Wycliffe Bible Translators” and two associated companies “SIL” and “Frontiers”, have removed the terms Father, Son and Son of God from the Bible because these words may offend Muslims.

Father is replaced with Allah or Lord or Guardian, Son is replaced with Proxy and Messiah, so that “This is my beloved son” can be rendered as “This is my beloved proxy.”

I did the obvious things at first and examined the water supply, but it was clear of any mind-altering substances. Then I checked family history for evidence of insanity but, apart from finding an Australian cousin who had once voted for Billy McMahon and supported Manly, there was nothing—nothing at all.

When I asked them why they had done this they denied it point blank—they had not removed the words at all. When I pointed the words out in their publications they said that all they had done was merely re-translate—the original Son was still in there, it was just translated as proxy in case a Muslim ever dared to read the bible.

Wycliffe-bible-islamic-edition-210x300“What would happen if he did?” I asked.

“Well, for one thing he wouldn’t have a clue about the doctrine of the Trinity as it now stands. And we dropped the word “Our” from “Our Father” as it suggested sex was involved, and that would have offended him, too. You see, it is superior scholarship.”

“And you have explained the Trinity?” I asked.

“Well, no, nobody ever really has, but we have taken out the bits that might offend Muslims. You must see—it is all about tolerance and compromise and reaching out, don’t you agree?”

“And you expect the Quran to drop the bit about killing Jews and re-translate so that it will not offend Jews?”

“Goodness, no, the Quran is the actual direct word of God according to Muslims.”

“I understand that your staff have resigned.”

“Some have. We just couldn’t get them to understand that we are right and that they are dwelling in darkness. They don’t understand about tolerance and compromise.”

It occurred to me, as far as I remember from Sunday School, that unless Christ was divine the Bible is just a book of good advice and there is no reason on earth a Muslim should read it or even follow any suggestions made.

Then it also occurred to me that the editors are pompous billygoats drifting toward surrender and calling it tolerance, drifting towards nonsense and calling it scholarship, toward ‘reaching out’ and falling to their knees in subservience.

But I could be wrong.

Editor: “pompous billygoats” is a re-translation of Toby’s original expression and more accurately reflects what he probably really meant. His original was loose, meandering, choleric, and incoherent.

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